The Guadalajara Reporter

Pine-needle creativity

A scream of terror rings out in the deep woods. A hiker races about in circles, leaping into the air and shaking her limbs wildly. “Something’s crawling up my pant leg!” she shrieks to her companions. Modesty cast aside, she rips off her pants to discover inside, not the scorpion, centipede or spider she expected, but a humble, utterly harmless, pine needle.

This is more or less the way many a visitor to pine forests has discovered the remarkable way pine needles can ascend pant legs thanks to their pointy tips and the built-in spring action of their shape, allowing them to move up but never down, perfectly simulating the movement of whatever creeping creature you would least like to feel scurrying up your leg and heading for your private parts.

If, in the past, you had asked me, “What is a pine needle good for?” I’m afraid I could not have come up with anything better than, “Well, they’re good for playing a practical joke on somebody you’d like to see pantless.”

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