Last updateFri, 11 Mar 2016 6pm

Rebuilding your life after the death of a loved one

Put yourself in this scenario: Your name is Judy. Your husband’s name is Bob. Together you have discovered Lake Chapala in central Mexico (for Bob it is “love at first sight”) and there you have recently purchased your retirement home, where “One entire sliding-glass wall opened onto a view of the lake … and palm trees … spilled down the mountainside into the village.”


Enthusiastic, you both return to the states to sell most of the contents of your house in California and to pack up for the move to your dream home in the tropical mountains of central Mexico.


Bob has irritating pains in his legs and has been tired and listless. You, Judy, in late August take him for medical tests, and the results will be available the following Monday.

On Monday, your van is fully packed and you are ready to head south of the border when the test results arrive: Bob has liver and pancreatic cancer and has only a few months to live.


Three weeks later, on September 18, 2001, Bob passes away at your home in California.


One of the last things he said to Judy was “I think you should go ahead and go down to Mexico.”


Lessons from a Grief Diary by Judy Dykstra-Brown and Anthony Moriarty, Ph.D., is the story of one woman’s grief and how Mexico helped heal her.

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